Vacation in Normandy - Fri

The first picture is a fairly accurate depiction of how the first portion of our vacation went.

You'll notice that there is a purple rectangle just before the "eme". "Eme" is the same as the "th" in 4th, or 5th, or 6th. So basically, unless you look at the picture (which we didn't at first, cause we were driving by at 70 km/h), you have no idea if it's the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. turn on the right.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Once upon a time there was a man named Josh who had very little knowledge of France and very little time in which to plan a vacation. He quick looked up some history and some online suggestions of where to go and decided that Normandy, near Caen, might be a good place to be.

He tried to find a hotel with a pool, but there were no affordable hotels near Caen with a pool, so he found one a little ways away from Caen. (Mom, I used the site you sent me to find the one we stayed at, so thanks for the lead!) It was a beautiful four star hotel with a pool that was between Caen and Honfleur and looked like a nice place to spend a night or two. So, Josh booked the hotel, rented a car online and sat in front of the computer with a contented smile upon his face. He had done well.

Or so he thought.

When Beth got home, I (that's right, third to first person switch, careful) told Beth I booked us a hotel and said let's go have a fun vacation! She said, yea!

We looked at how far away the war memorial was. Two hours. Turns out being able to read a scale on a map is somewhat important. Well, maybe we could cancel the second night when we got there, or just drive up, look around and drive back...entailing four total hours in the car.

Well, we'll figure it out, I got us a GPS for the car (for fifty euros), so it's not like we'll get lost driving around France. We'll be fine!

Packed up the bags and after morning breakfast, head to the Hertz, which is at Porte Maillot. Where exactly at Porte Maillot? Hmmm, not sure, guess I forgot to get that info, but it looked like it was right near the metro; worst case scenario, we can just ask someone.

Worst case scenario.

We get to the metro, make it through a long underground tunnel and up several stairs with two rolling suitcases, a backpack and a stroller (not to mention the 2 yr old in the stroller). We look around. Avis, check. National, check. Alamo, check. Hertz? Hertz? Hertz? Not in sight. Ben and I wait in front of a restaurant while Beth goes off to try to ask for directions.

Tensions rise.

Finally, I go into the Congress building (it's just called something de congress, or something like that), and ask the concierge where Hertz is. A concierge is someone that is supposed to know the town and where to rent cars and such. He has no idea.

My blood pressure increases from 140/90 to 230/110.

I ask if I can use his "computer" (it's almost like an Ipad, just a tiny tiny laptop with some sort of dial up connection). I check my email and tell him the address, he finds it on google maps. It's not far luckily. We make it there and I'm thinking, ok, we start an hour later than planned, not too bad. Tell them my name and they ask for my passport. I tell them that I didn't bring it, all it said online was to show up with your driver's license. They say I need it.

My eye begins to twitch. Just a little bit.

Beth starts crying and I throw my coat on the chair and say I'll be back in forty minutes. They say, hold on, just wait a second. They find us a car, a different one, a Ford Focus. Pretty good car it turns out, but we were expecting something a little more...European. The guy sets up the GPS, but a pin is missing. There's a suction cup on the window and then a joint where the attachment for the GPS attaches and a pin holds it in. I asked the guys, what about the pin, he says, "Oh, you know, you just" and here he wiggles his fingers.

I swallow some enamel as I grind a thin layer off my teeth.

I was still just happy that they let us rent the thing without the passport, so I let it go. I pull out of the driveway and it falls in my lap.

In my mind, I punch the rental people. All of them.

We get out of Paris, it's beautiful, nice scenic country and the GPS dies. We plug it in, turn it on, "battery critical, going into sleep mode". I pull over and check the cigarette lighter by pushing in the lighter. It's broke. We now have no GPS and no map.

Son of ************************censored**************************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We exit off to a little town and hope to find somewhere with a map. No one sells a map.

We keep going in what we hope is the right direction and pull over at a rest stop. They have a map, so that's helpful.

Finally, we make it to the town we are headed for, only to see that first sign.

People stare at the Ford Focus as it passes because of the man in the driver's seat hitting his head against the horn.

We stop and ask some random dude and he tells us it's just up the way.

The blood pressure slowly, slowly drops. It's a beautiful hotel and a very scenic little town.

We checked in and then head into town to find some food.

We head to the nearby town of Pont Audemer. It's very beautiful. We walk around a little, I get some nice pictures, then we find some food.

We're very hungry. Of course, in France, lunch is only served between 1 and 3 and we got there at like 3:30. So we found a bar and ordered some sandwiches. You know how annoying it is that McDonald's only serves breakfast before 10:30. Think of a whole country with the same mindset. Only, if you want to eat any time before 2 or anytime between 4 and 7 your only option is a croissant or a cold sandwich.

Back to the hotel. We get unpacked, play cars, watch tv, swim a little bit and then head out to find some dinner. The hotel offered dinner for 38 euros per person, and that was the basic dinner, if you didn't change anything out or want anything extra. The continental breakfast (a banana, bread with jam, maybe a croissant) was 16 euros per person.

Back to Pont Audemer, which is a very popular little town it turns out, find a parking spot and head to dinner. It was excellent! (The service was even good!)

Beth had pizza, Ben had chicken nuggets, and I had a whole bowl full of mussels steamed in butter and onions. I had kinda wanted the creme sauce, but it cost more (a good amount more because I would have had to go with the more expensive menu, it's tough to explain), so I got the butter and onions. They were very good and Ben ate several too!

We headed back to the hotel and went to sleep. For a while. Very hard to sleep with Ben in the same room. Beth slept pretty well, and I think Ben may have only woken up once. But I'm a very light sleeper, and Ben had some sinus issues, so he sounded like an angry racoon, snuffling and growling and chewing on his nooker. I woke up many times.

And there was eating and there was mourning. The first day.